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Natalie: I don’t sleep motherfucker off that ‘gnac and that thurban, doin 120 getting head while i’m swerving.

Random Guy (Myers): Damn Natalie, you a crazy chick.

Natalie: Yo shut the fuck up and suck my dick. I bust in dudes mouths like Gushers motherfucker. Roll up on NBC and smack the shit outta Jeff Zucker.

Group of guys: What you want Natalie?

Natalie: To drink and fight.

Group of guys: What you need Natalie?

Natalie: To fuck all night.

Don’t test me when i’m crazy on that airplane glue. Put my foot down your throat till your shit on my shoe. Leave you screaming, pay for my dry cleaning. Fuck your man, it’s my name he is screaming.

Interviewer: I’m sorry Natalie, are we to believe that you condone driving while intoxicated?

Natalie: I never said I was a role model.

Interviewer: But what about the kids that look up to you, do you have a message for them?

Natalie: All the kids looking up to me can suck my dick. It’s Portman motherfucker, drink till i’m sick.

Slash your throat and pour nitrous down the hole. Watch you laugh and cry while I laugh you die.

And all the dudes, you know i’m talking to you.

Group of guys: We love you Natalie!

Natalie: I wanna fuck you too.

Group of guys: P

Natalie: Is for Portman!

Group of guys: P

Natalie: Is for pussy! I’ll kill your fucking dog for fun so don’t push me.

(laughing)

Interviewer: WoW, Natalie i’m surprised, all this from a Harvard graduate.

Natalie: Well there’s a lot you may not know about me.

Interviewer: Really? Such as?

Natalie: When I was in Harvard, I smoked weed every day. I cheated every test, I snorted all the yay. I got a deaf possy, you got a bunch of dudes. I’ll sit right down on your face and take a shit.

Viking (Samberg): Natalie, you are a bad ass bitch.

Natalie: Hell yea!

Viking: And I will always pay for your dry cleaning, when my shit gets in your shoes.

Natalie: What!

As for the drug use, well I can’t vouch for that. My dick is scared of you. Owwwwwww!

Interviewer: Okie doke. Natalie, one final question, if you could steal a smooch from any guy in hollywood who would it

(crash)

Natalie: No more questions.

What!

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