Aaahhh with all that has happened, I’m feeling better cause I am talking with an old old old LJ friend Dave from Oxford. He says he’s commin to visit soon, and he’s gonna teach to speak with a cockney accent. I told him I was gonna buy a baseball bat, and he said he’d send me his cricket bat. W00t! might have to go to Dick’s and see if they have any.

This is the one that I want to get. Anyone want to buy it for me so I can protect myself and Crystal?

So yeah, if you wanna get into our heads read this chat transcript:

[19:38] Deadly: dude, sorry to hear about you getting robbed. you both ok?
[19:38] £ddi£: yeah we were not home when it happened
[19:39] Deadly: shame, bet you would’ve given them a right beating.
[19:39] £ddi£: probably tomorrow i am buying a baseball bat
[19:40] Deadly: don’t blame you. i have always been the proud owner of a cricket bat!
[19:40] Deadly: (how english is that!)
[19:40] £ddi£: if i could get one here i would
[19:41] Deadly: can send you mine if you want
[19:41] £ddi£: lol that would be hella cool
[19:42] Deadly: not sure how we’d get that one through, but i reckon it’d be ok. can just see the look of bemusement on your friend’s faces when they see it!
[19:43] £ddi£: haha yeah that would be funny then i could dress up as shaun of the dead for halloween!
[19:44] Deadly: its yours. will wrap it and send it to you. (only if you send me photos!) alternatively, i’ll just hand deliver it. can just see me getting through customs with that one!
[19:44] £ddi£: hahah i’d pick you up at the airport!
[19:45] Deadly: i am looking at getting over to the states this year.
[19:45] £ddi£: thats awesome!
[19:46] £ddi£: i need a new tattoo lol
[19:46] Deadly: aye. just need to get my boss to pay for the flights to new york!
[19:46] Deadly: hehe - i need a tattoo.
[19:46] £ddi£: hhehehe get one here
[19:47] Deadly: not sure the yanks would be too chuffed about being asked for a Canadian flag….
[19:47] £ddi£: i doubt it
[19:47] Deadly: heh. so apart from being robbed? how you both been?
[19:48] £ddi£: not too bad, livin workin you?
[19:48] Deadly: about the same really. working too damn much.
[19:48] £ddi£: lol yeah i know what you mean
[19:49] Deadly: ah well, if it means i get over the pond, all the better.
[19:49] £ddi£: that strue, you’ve been saying you’ve been comming for too long!
[19:50] Deadly: tell me about it. finally i’ve managed to get my finances a bit more in order.
[19:51] £ddi£: thats good
[19:51] Deadly: indeed. not perfect, but more managable.
[19:51] £ddi£: very good
[19:51] £ddi£: i’m glad
[19:51] £ddi£: you got a girl yet?
[19:52] Deadly: lol - kind of - i may be getting back with my ex of 3 years ago!
[19:53] £ddi£: hey if you are happy thats all that matters remember that
[19:54] Deadly: true. bit wary though as she broke my heart back then and don’t want to go through it again.
[19:54] £ddi£: i understand

[19:54] £ddi£: be right back
[19:59] £ddi£: had to start some tea
[19:59] Deadly: how very english of you.
[19:59] £ddi£: well i am Canadian thats close enough
[20:00] Deadly: true.
[20:00] £ddi£: lol
[20:00] £ddi£: you know: pip pip cherio and all that
[20:01] Deadly: tally ho old chap.
[20:01] £ddi£: and i am listening to some british music: lily allen
[20:02] Deadly: :S oh dear. chavvy, pointless bint.
[20:02] £ddi£: hahahahaha
[20:02] £ddi£: i want to have her accent!
[20:02] £ddi£: she’s hot!
[20:03] Deadly: have you had your glasses checked recently?
[20:04] £ddi£: yup brand new! she’s hot with a hot accent!!
[20:04] £ddi£: h
[20:04] £ddi£: o
[20:04] £ddi£: t
[20:04] £ddi£: !
[20:05] £ddi£: got nothin to say huh?
[20:05] £ddi£: lol
[20:06] Deadly: haha - each to their own.
[20:06] £ddi£: hahah ok, then are there any other hot female bristish musicians (other than the spicegirls) that you can point me too?
[20:08] Deadly: rebecca mosley. Not well known, but fucking stunning.
[20:08] £ddi£: i shall Google her right now
[20:08] Deadly: http://www.myspace.com/rebeccamosley
[20:09] £ddi£: got it!
[20:09] £ddi£: interesting
[20:09] £ddi£: wheres her cool cockney accent???
[20:09] Deadly: she’s not from London. She’s from Stoke (now lives in Oxford).
[20:10] £ddi£: ahhh ok!
[20:10] £ddi£: man i wish i sounded like dick van dyke from mary poppins!
[20:10] Deadly: cor blimey guvnor.
[20:10] £ddi£: hahaha yes!!!
[20:10] £ddi£: see you have to come here to teach me the accent@!
[20:11] Deadly: haha - but i don’t have an accent.
[20:11] £ddi£: hahah yes you do!
[20:12] Deadly: not at all. its you who has the accent.
[20:12] £ddi£: nope!
[20:12] Deadly: yep
[20:12] £ddi£: hahaha no you have the accent cause you are where history comes from
[20:13] Deadly: i’m sure the greeks and italians might have something to say about that (plus the french and scandiweegians)!
[20:13] £ddi£: nope england is where all people came from according to eddie izzard! lmao
[20:14] Deadly: well he does have a point.
[20:14] £ddi£: he does
[20:14] Deadly: and i am bloody great!
[20:14] £ddi£: hahah true
[20:15] Deadly: lol - greatness attracts greatness. so i only know great people!
[20:16] £ddi£: aww thanks!
[20:16] £ddi£: i have snatch here to watch when you get here…just need to buy a new dvd player
[20:17] Deadly: nice. bet yer a boxer aren’t yer.
[20:17] £ddi£: you like dags?
[20:18] Deadly: i like caravans.
[20:18] £ddi£: hahahaha
[20:18] Deadly: more
[20:18] £ddi£: ok
[20:19] £ddi£: You should never underestimate the predictability of stupidity.
[20:19] £ddi£: Do you know what “nemesis” means? A righteous infliction of retribution manifested by an appropriate agent. Personified in this case by an ‘orrible cunt… me.
[20:19] Deadly: you seem to know it word perfect!
[20:20] £ddi£: i’m getting the quotes from imdb lol
[20:20] *** Your previous message has not been sent. Reason: Maximum length exceeded. You can recall the last message typed with Ctrl-Up or Up, depending on settings.
[20:20] £ddi£: Bullet Tooth Tony: So, you are obviously the big dick. The men on the side of ya are your balls. There are two types of balls. There are big brave balls, and there are little mincey faggot balls.
Vinny: These are your last words, so make them a prayer.
Bullet Tooth Tony: Now, dicks have drive and clarity of vision, but they are not clever. They smell pussy and they want a piece of the action. And you thought you smelled some good old pussy, and have brought your two small mincey faggot balls along for a good old time. But you’ve got your parties mangled up. There’s no pussy here, just a dose that’ll make you wish you were born a woman. Like a prick, you are having second thoughts. You are shrinking, and your two little balls are shrinking with you. And the fact that you’ve got “Replica” written down the side of your gun…
[20:20] £ddi£: [Zoom in on the side of Sol's gun, which indeed has "REPLICA" etched on the side; zoom out, as they sneak peeks at the sides of their guns]
Bullet Tooth Tony: And the fact that I’ve got “Desert Eagle point five O”…
[Withdraws his gun and puts it on the table]
Bullet Tooth Tony: Written down the side of mine…
[They look, zoom in on the side of his gun, which indeed has "DESERT EAGLE .50" etched on the side]
Bullet Tooth Tony: Should precipitate your balls into shrinking, along with your presence. Now… Fuck off!
[20:21] Deadly: lol - still brings back such great memories.
[20:24] £ddi£: yes it does
[20:24] £ddi£: last one:)
[20:24] £ddi£: Tommy: Who took the jam outta your doughnut?
Turkish: You took the fucking jam outta my doughnut, Tommy. You did.
[20:24] Deadly: nice.
[20:24] £ddi£: very
[20:24] £ddi£: dude i miss you
[20:25] £ddi£: in a purely platonic heterosexual buddy way
[20:25] Deadly: haha - i know what you mean. couldn’t help but think of you on superbowl day….
[20:26] £ddi£: i just about choked on my tea lol
[20:26] £ddi£: yeah grand time
[20:27] Deadly: heh - and you got me drinking in a pub called the moonrakers!
[20:27] £ddi£: i’m proud of that!
[20:27] £ddi£: i may have to post this to my website and lj!
[20:28] Deadly: heh - i bet.
[20:28] Deadly: do you still have the pics from then?
[20:28] £ddi£: no sadly they were lost in the move, and about 3 different computers. i have very little from vancouver.
[20:29] Deadly: that’s a shame, guess we’ll just have to get some more done!
[20:29] £ddi£: thats true!!
[20:30] Deadly: maybe coincide a visit with the next superbowl?
[20:30] £ddi£: that would be very very cool!
[20:32] £ddi£: i should get going and get supper ready for Crystal when she gets home from work. thanks for the great chat buddy
[20:32] Deadly: no probs. good to talk to you too. speak to you soon. take care dude and give Crystal a big hug from me.
[20:33] £ddi£: i will:)
[20:33] £ddi£: i’m gonna go to a sporting goods store and see if they have a cricket bat
[20:33] Deadly: let me know if not and i will get you one from here.
[20:33] £ddi£: cool i will
[20:34] £ddi£: g’night govna
[20:34] Deadly: coolio. now go cook your wife her tea. night geezer.